Heather's Last Post:

This is Heather's sister Jenifer writing to everyone this will be Heather's last post she passed away around midnight on Friday July, 27th.   On Monday, Heather had two big seizures  one included losing consciousness and coughing with labored breathing.  She was taken to the local emergency room via ambulance and then was transferred to the Emergency Room in Ann Arbor, Michigan.  She had a few more seizures that evening, but appeared to stabilize and was scheduled to come home on Thursday so she could continue making arrangements for brain surgery that was scheduled for Thursday August 2nd.  Unbeknownst to her doctors, Heather had a bleading ulcer most likely caused from the prolonged use of steriods to control brain swelling.  The ulcer burst and she aspirated on the blood coming from her stomach.  She was resuscutated three times and the decision was made to place her on life support so that family and friends could say their goodbyes.  For a normal person to have suffered lung aspiration and be put on life support there is only a 2% chance of being able to pull through.  Because of Heather's complex medical condition her chances were much less.  Even if Heather would have made it without life support in the future she would not be strong enough to endure surgery and her tumors would continue to grow and swell making the pain unbearable.  Heather was taken off life support on Thursday July 26th at 4:30 P.M and passed away around midnight.

Heather has been such a blessing for all of those around her.  It was an honor and a privilage to be her sister.   To close this last post I will share a message that Heather sent to one of her friends who had another friend that was struggling.  It is amazing the depth of insight and wisdom she had and it is just like her to have the last word.

June 25Heather Shannon
Micky,
Here are my thoughts for your friend who is blaming God. Where the * is, is written specifically for. You can use this how ever you wish. God led me to write this tonight for some reason, so here you have it. Let me know if you have any questions.


The question that you asked me last week, “why do we often blame God for the bad things, then give up on him”. That is such a difficult question to explain simply. Well, it is human nature to blame somebody for the bad things. And when we can’t control what is happening, why not turn to God, right? He is in control of everything, now isn’t he? Several times in the book of Job it is stated that it is a sin to question God and ask why, although eventually Job did eventually ask why all these bad things are happening. We all need an explination, and sometimes we are put in situations that we can’t understand, fathome or deal with for sure. Sometimes, our faith is tested, not by God, but by satan. It is spiritual warefare. Sometimes we are put in situations that aren’t fair or bad, and the way that we deal with them or how we look at them (our perspective) is what will pull us through it.

There is a story in the book of Mark about a group of diciples who went to the well to tithe. All of the rich ones threw just a portion of their money in the well for Jesus, but then a poor woman went and threw her last two pennies in the well. She knew that Jesus would provide and take care of her. Too often we worry about taking care of ourselves first and forget that God will take care of us first if we just have faith in him.

So, why does God let these bad things happen? Simple, he doesn’t neccissarrily “let” them happen. But it is up to us to use them for his will. He is in control for sure. For example, I don’t believe that he “gave” me cancer. But, he did put me in a waiting room at a doctors office to sit next to somebody who had no hope so I could share my story and help them along the way. He did humble me to realize that many other people have heavy crosses to carry and need more love, hugs and friends.
Did Jesus make murders kill people? Of course not, but I bet there are some murders in prison who found Jesus then were able to reach others while in prison.

*Does Jesus take loved ones away from us to punish us? No way! But he did die on the cross so that we can have eternal life NOT ON THIS EARTH. That is the key Mickey, not on this earth, in heaven. We are put here on earth to serve a purpose. That is one part of our job here on earth. A specific purpose of his will and sometimes we will never know excatally what that purpose is, but God knows, and once that is fulfilled, he will take us home. When we lose a loved one it hurts so much because we miss them, but ( I know it sounds mundane) it is a blessing. Here is why. This world is so full of pain, hurt, uncertain and struggle. We strive everyday to try to be happy. Can you imagine just to be in bliss ALL OF THE TIME?
I know that the pain and hurt seem so unfair I was just there a week ago. I lost my focus. I completely forgot that my life is in God’s hands. I lost my strength because of that. Believe me I was a mess! But then I remembered. God does have a plan. It doesn’t always seem fair. This world doesn’t seem fair, it is because of satan, not because of God. God loves us soooo much! You know, if you saw a child walking into the street and he was about to get hit by a car, you wouldn’t think twice about running out there, pushing the kid away and getting hit yourself instead, would you? That is the same idea of Jesus dying on the cross for us. He has that deep love for us. If he knew that that car was going to hit us and we would be stuck in a horrible place he would be heart broken. That is the whole idea of being forgiven for our sins.
So, it is okay to ask God, “why”. Life isn’t fair sometimes. But he isn’t punishing us. Infact if you feel that he is punishing you because of a loved one who passed away, he actually is blessing that loved one for giving them a much happier, better, lovlier place.
I am dying of cancer, and it isn’t fair to my loved ones and I feel really bad for them, but I always tell them that when I do die, just know that I am in heaven smiling because I beat them there.

I really hope that you can find your focus on God. It is such a diffucult life without him! I have been there several times. And one of them is just recently

Here We Go Again

I know it has been a while, but there has been big news and docs have been trying to piece together what to do. So, we finally have an answer. Here we go with what is happening. I will start with good news. I just had CT scans of my lungs and there is no growth and everything is stable. Also, there is no evident tissue damage from the lung radiation. YAY! Awesome!
The not so good news, (well, it could be good. It is all perspective). I have two new tumors on my brain. They are very very tiny though. They aren't hurting anything, so we are just watching them for now and when they get big enough, we are going to to radio-surgery on them. That is radiation with the halo.
I have two large tumors on my brain (we have known about these since we found out I had brain tumors) that are growing and becoming one tumor.  These are causing really bad headaches and seizures due to brain swelling. Actually I am not having seizures anymore because I am on really really high doses of steroids, but my headaches are sometimes unmanagable. So, the cure? The brain tumor board decided to just get rid of the problem. Yup to remove the tumors. On August 2, I will be having another brain surgery. It will be at U of M and the same surgeon will perform the surgery that did my last one. The largest tumor is growing near some large veins, so there is some risk of bleeding. The plan is to go in and remove the largest tumor and if things go well, he will continue to remove the one that is next to it. If there are any complications, he will close me up and reschedule another surgery to remove the other tumor.
So, for now, we are getting things in order for after surgery as we just got the date. I know that everything is in God's hands and he will make sure that everything is covered.
Once again thank you so much for your prayers, love and support! They really do mean a lot to Kevin, me and the boys!

Heather

Short and Sweet

So, as promised, here is a short update. I saw Katie and good ole Dr. Schuetze yesterday. By the way, this week marks one year since my brain surgery and all is well so far. The titanium plates and screws in my head are not interfering with my everyday life as of yet. I am ready to take on the summer finally! So, news from the doc.. Scans revealed this: The tumors in my brain are still there and there is swelling around one of the tumors causing slight headaches which have been manageable so nothing remarkable there. The tumors on my lung have grown about 10% which isn't too bad, so that isn't really remarkable and we aren't doing anything about that. The good news? No new studies or drugs or anything for at least another 2 months which is when we will do another round of scans to see what the tumors will be doing at that time. So we are stable and just watching for now. But, yes, there is a "but" but hey, it might not be so bad. I have been struggling off and on with a crazy cough/asthma something since I had radiation done on one tumor on my lung. That tumor was considered dangerous because it is wrapped around my wind pipe. Schuetze seems to think that this tumor is swelling at times and squeezing my wind pipe causing asthma like symptoms. The fix for it? To see a pulmologist and see about getting a stint placed into my wind pipe so when the tumor swells it cannot squeeze the wind pipe.
Why is the tumor swelling? I don't know. Possibly, because when these tumors die they die from the inside causing the outside to swell. Another reason could still be effects of radiation. Another reason could be because it is just stupid cancer. Those are my reasons, so who really knows. I will be seeing the lung doc next wed. so we will have more information then. These procedures will be done most likely at Borgess.
So, there you have it. Things are looking so much better than they were a year ago.
Thank you again for your support and prayers

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"

ps, sorry i know my spelling is so bad that even spell check doesn't recognize some words. thanks for your patients! :)

Happy Day

Well, what is the newest news???? It is actually good, no great! This week I had an MRI of my brain and a chest CT to see what those crazy tumors are up to now. I thought they were complicating things, but that isn't the case this time. The three tumors that were left in my brain and radiated all summer have actually died and SHRANK. Yup, they are dead and shrinking. And, yes that means that there is less brain in there (thanks to my sister for pointing that out). The one tumor on my lung that was radiated also is shrinking. The measurements showed "significant" shrinkage. I still have several other tumors in my lung, but the CT showed that those tumors have not changed at all. No new growth or anything. This is all fantastic news! I haven't heard the shrink word in all 7 years that we have been doing this! I want to make it very clear that I am NOT in remission because of the tumors that are stable in my lung. That is okay though, because if I were to be in remission there would be a chance of the cancer coming back bigger and more agressive. So, this is the best news ever.


I still have headaches, preassure in my head and simply feel drained and yucky, but docs seem to think that is due to the seizure medicine that I am on right now. I will be seeing a neurologist next week to find out about either getting off of this medicine or changing it to a different one. I am still burnt and healing from radiation too. So, eventhough good news, my body is still healing from the past year. For now, I will begin weaning off of the steroids and I am not doing any other treatment until necessary. I will have scans done again in May, if the ramaining tumors happen to grow at all, that is when we will discuss starting a new treatment.


I owe a LOT of thank yous! All of you readers, prayer worriers, friends, people who drive me around, bring us food, support our family with love, giving extra smiles and lots of hugs, so many poeple have helped make this past year much easier to bear for my whole family. You don't know how much we appreaciate your love and compassion. I also wanted to send a special thanks to Dr. Scott Schuetze, Katie and their team for everything!


I have been down a lot this year, I even think I may have gone into a depression spell, but now that I look at it, we were right all along. God has a plan for all of us! He knew that all of this would happen. He knew that something good would come from this. I have learned that even when we second guess God, he is still here for us. Isn't that amazing? He is forever faithful!


Anyway, I will keep you posted. Oh yea, as of right now I haven't had a seizure in 4 weeks. At this rate, I should be able to drive distances by summer :) I feel like I am getting my life back finally. It is sad to think that I lost it, but as I always say, bad things are just another bump in the road. This past year has been a mountain rather than a bump, but I can see the sun finally. I owe a lot of this to all of you for your love! Even if you are reading this and thinking that you are not one that I am thankful for, don't believe it. I am thankful for you just for wondering about me!


Sorry to be winded. I will be working on a new writing project now, so keep checking back.


Happy Days!!!!!!!





Heather Shannon

Post Radiation

Hello Everybody! If you haven't already heard, radiation is working! YAY! Here are the details. Yesterday, I had a CT scan and a MRI. The MRI was of the brain which showed that there is no new growth of the tumors. It did, however, show a little brain swelling of the tissue around the tumors. That is okay and should resolve itself over time. Radiation was not supposed to make the tumors go away, it was just supposed to kill them. The CT was of my lung. Remember that I have about 20 tumors on my lung. 2 of the tumors that were not radiated did grow a little bit (not enough to be alarmed and they are in a safe spot so it isn't a big deal) the one tumor that was radiated did not change in size. Upon comparing the growth of the non-radiated tumors and the non growth of the radiated tumors, the conclusion is that radiation has killed the tumors.
So, I will have MRI and CT scans every 2 months just to keep an eye on them. Does this mean remission? No. I still have other tumors to worry about. I did have clearance to begin a new study. I don't know anything about it yet. I think I am still eligible for one more study at U of M. I haven't talked with my regular doc at U of M yet. I don't think I am ready quite yet to start anything else. I am planning my next trip to the U on Feb 1, I suppose we will see what is in store then.
Today was day 3 without steroids. Patrick told me that I am a little deflated (I don't feel it yet). I did have a small, normal seizure today. I have been having one about every 2 weeks. We shall see what tomorrow brings.
So, I am still on two different seizure meds and I am convinced that they make me tired although one of my doctors disagrees. But, what does he know, he doesn't have my body. I am going to start exercising more (hahaha, maybe walk a little farther than the garage) and see if that helps my energy level.
Anyway, your prayers worked! I will pray for extra blessings for all of you! I couldn't ask for a better support network than what I already have.
Oh, one more thing. Cancer is so common now that 1 in every 5 people have it. The Berrien County Caner Service has a support group twice a month for patients and caregivers and beginning in December they will be adding one for children of cancer patients. If you or a friend needs some kind of support help, please feel free to contact me!
I love you all :)

Heather Shannon

Well, I suppose you would like to know what is happening in my world. I finally finished my last radiation three weeks ago. That was radiation done on one tumor on my lung. I started feeling better, but now I have pnamonia again. The antibiotics are making me feel pretty crappy. I am still on two seizure meds and steroids. I wanted to take a break from everything for a while, but it is looking like I will have to continue the seizure meds and steroids for quiet some time now. What'd ya do? Keep on truckin. I was just hoping that I could have at least one month of feeling "normal" what ever that is. Lately I have been feeling bad because I can't keep up with most people my age. I feel bad that I can't play catch with the kids and I don't even have the energy to sit through a football game to watch Jordan in the band. Sometimes I feel like I am just a fly on the wall in my house, but apparently the people in my house really love the fly on their wall. I will go back to Ann Arbor Nov. 30 for scans and to see all of my docs to find out if all of this craziness has helped (brain surgery and radiations). I guess it is just more to add to my story.
This past week or so have helped me put more things into perspective. A couple of close friends were diagnosed with cancer. I am very happy to help emotionally as much as possible, but I wish I could take theirs for them. I already have it, so it would be so much better for them if I could just add it to mine. Also a pretty close friend of the family passed a few days ago in an accident. That just makes me wonder why people have to suffer. I never thought of myself as suffering, but it just doesn't seem fair. A quick accident would be much better (I think). I guess that I am finally feeling sick and I am more restricted on what I can do and it is driving me nuts (really, I don't mind chocolate covered nuts though). I know that this too will pass.
So many of you have complimented me on my inspiration and strength. I thank you for that, but sometimes I am not as strong as I seem. I just take what life gives me and keep on going. Sometimes I get sad and wonder why. Mostly I get jelous of others my age or older to see their stamina is much better than mine. I guess that the strength that I have is my drive to just keep going. I will be the first person with stage 4 sarcoma with brain mets to see remission. That keeps me going. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". That has gotten me through a lot.
I suppose in a nutshell, I am tired of being sick and I want my life to get as close to normal as it can. I know it will be far from perfect (becasue I live with a bunch of lepurchauns), but maybe they can bring me some luck hahahaha.
Anyway, for those of you who are new to this stuff, I have learned that it is okay to cry, break down, get angry and ask why. Those are all part of our humanly emotions. But, what makes us strong is that even if we don't like it, we must keep going. Keep fighting and keep listening to the docs. When God decides it is our time, that is when we will go. The label "cancer" doesn't always mean that it is our time. Maybe it means that it is our time to change parts of our lives, but that is all. There is always hope as long as you want it!!!!
I just want to take a quick minute to let you all know how much I appreciate your comments and encouragement! Sometimes that helps me stay strong and keep going. The boys and I have been paying attention to how pretty God paints the sky for us in the morning and at night. Those small blessings are so important to pay attention to. We all need to slow down and really soak in this beautiful world! Sometimes we get in such a hurry that to "stop to smell the roses" isn't enough. We need to take the time to see the rose pedals too. That is what I have learned over this summer.
So, sorry to ramble. I have much more to ramble about so watch for further posts. I love all of you and thank you for helping my journey easier!!!!

One More Round of Radiation

My apologies for promising an update and not posting it. I haven't been feeling too well. Two weeks ago, I came down with some lung thing. 3 different doctors thought it was 3 different things (pneumonia, blood clot in lung, maybe my tumor affecting me). After 2 weeks on antibiotics, another steroid and many other symptomatic meds, I am starting to feel better.
So, the new news. There really isn't any. I will begin radiation on one spot on my lung on Monday Sept. 12. This will be 5 treatments, three in one week (I will be staying in a hotel all week to save on gas money) then two the next week (will again most likely stay up there). After these five treatments are done........ are you ready......... big smiley face.........I WILL HAVE 6, YES S-I-X months off of ALL treatment!! This was my choice and my doc says that with these being such slow growing tumors and there will be no more left that can be harmful, a six month break will be okay. I am so excited to feel normal again (although, I don't think there is anything normal about my life). I will go back to Ann Arbor on Nov. 30 to find out what the radiation did to my brain.
So, there you have it, we are at the long stretch now, but it is almost over for a while. My next treatments will be pills similar to the ones I had in DC but the study will be in Ann Arbor.
Thank you so much for your love and support! I don't think Kevin and I would have made it through this round without such great friends and family!!!!